Taking Control of your Attitude

Steven Gaffney The Second Step to Honest Communication

Tennis pro, Chris Evert, was once quoted as saying:

"The thing that separates good players from great players is mental attitude. It might only make a difference of two or three points over an entire match, but how you play those key points often makes the difference between winning and losing. If the mind is strong, you can do anything you want."

This point of view is one that's shared by the top 10 percent of salespeople in any organization. Ask them (as we have, repeatedly) what they do that makes them so successful and they'll answer almost unanimously: "It's my attitude!"

Top salespeople love what they do. They love the companies they work for, the products and services they sell, the customers they sell to. They also take personal responsibility for ensuring that all of these points remain true.

By our measure, they live by four simple attitude rules:

1. Nobody can choose your attitude for you If you're waiting for someone else to come along and motivate you, then you're letting your circumstances take control your thoughts. Only you can motivate yourself to have a better attitude--and in trying times, only with a better attitude will you be able to improve your circumstances. No matter the extraordinary sales techniques you learn during your career, they will fail you if you don't believe in yourself, your products and your market.

2. Your attitude determines how others perceive you How often have you thought, just by observation, that someone had a bad attitude? Like it or not, between 65-90 percent of all conversations is interpreted through non-verbal communication, including facial expressions, physiology, body language or positioning, and tone of voice. Your prospects are more likely to react to those visual cues than by what you have to say. That's why, as salespeople, we have to ensure that our body language communicates a positive, confident attitude.

In American politics, there was a memorable moment during the 1992 U.S. Presidential debates when then-President George Bush was caught on-camera looking at his watch while one of his opponents was speaking. While his handlers later claimed that he was simply checking to see if the speaker had exceeded his allotted time, many concluded that this subtlety was an indication that the President wasn't interested in the debate. Weeks later, he was defeated.

3. The people around you are a direct mirror of your attitude It's amazing how individuals who consistently display a poor attitude are the same who expect their family, co-workers, friends or employees to remain upbeat. Remember: who you are, is whom you attract. Think of it as the law of human magnetism.

4. Maintaining a good attitude is easier than regaining one that's lost If you already have a good attitude, great! Do everything you can to maintain it. On the other hand, if you have difficulty expecting the best from yourself and others, don't give up. Remember item #1 on this list--only you can choose your attitude, so it's up to you to change it.

Be a life-giver...not a life-sucker

When dealing with problems or adversity, salespeople generally fall into one of two categories--they're either life suckers (victims) or life givers (agents). Victims blame others for their actions and results, whereas agents take responsibility and ownership for their actions and get results. Those who are always looking for solutions to challenges are salespeople with an agent, or an ownership attitude. They embrace the fact that their jobs--our jobs!--require that they act responsibility. Rather than wasting time tracing blame, they move forward by creating solutions.

As responsible adults, nobody makes us think or do anything. We are responsible for our actions as well as our thoughts, opinions, assumptions and conclusions. They belong to us. We choose to think or act a certain way. Taking responsibility is a matter of choice.

When someone says: the customer stressed me out; the prospect pressured me; or my manager made me do this, what they are really saying is that others control them. It's as if they expect us to believe that some kind of "others" phantom crept into their body, taking control of what they think and do. Life does not imitate a Hollywood horror film. It's up to each of us to choose how we feel and act.

Sure, bad things can happen--and they happen even to the best salespeople. None of us can choose or control every event that occurs in our lives--especially the ones that affect our business. Have you ever lost a sale to a prospect that was acquired before you had the contract signed? Have you ever had a sale to a government department wind up in limbo because of an unexpected spending freeze imposed while you were in final negotiations? These are examples of situations that as salespeople we can't control--but we can always choose our response to how to deal with them.

Consider the conduct expected of first-year cadets at military colleges across North America. They are only allowed to respond to their instructors in one of three ways: "Yes Sir," "No Sir," and "No excuses, Sir!" If a cadet fails to complete an assignment (and the circumstances are deemed irrelevant), the cadet must assume responsibility by stating "No excuses, Sir!" The purpose here is to create an ownership attitude. It's that kind of self-discipline and ownership that will serve you well in your career..

Get others to treat you the way you want to be treated

Never underestimate how important personal responsibility can be in influencing our lives, and how much power it gives us to effect change. Remember this: We train and condition people to treat us the way we want to be treated.

In our society, another way that we can inadvertently train others is when we don't appear to respond at all to undesirable behavior-when we're silent.

There is no magic behind what we've recommended here. But let's be clear. Applying this knowledge - that you might be wrong and to take the appropriate steps - requires a lot of effort...and practice. In Chapter 4, we'll look at how the next key - taking control of your attitude - is a skill that extends in all directions of a salesperson's professional and personal life.

Copyright, 2006, Steven Gaffney Company, All Rights Reserved. mmunication

Category: Communicating
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