How to Deal with Someones Personal Loss

Barbara Weltman When someone you work with has a relative die, goes through a divorce, experiences catastrophic property damage by fire, storm or other disaster, or experiences some other personal loss, it’s important for you to know what to do and to do it. According to Lydia Ramsey, a business etiquette expert based in Savannah, people appreciate that you notice their loss. The following are some of her tips for action in this situation.

What to do
Make your response appropriate to your level of personal connection with the person who has suffered the loss. For example, if a relative of any employee you know well dies, take your response to the limit, including attending a service (if it is not limited to family), sending flowers, making a donation in the deceased’s memory or even offering to run errands.

But even if you don’t know the person well, attendance at a service is usually appropriate. It only becomes inappropriate when your connection is so tenuous as to give the appearance that you are only attending for business reasons.

Always make contact in some way, especially when the person is in another city; your method of communication depends on the situation. While a handwritten sympathy note is never wrong, telephone or e-mail to business acquaintances who may have suffered a loss from Hurricane Katrina, for example, may be the only means of expressing your concern.

For best action, find out what is needed by the person you are reaching out to so you can respond most helpfully. Take your cues from that person by asking what you can do.

What not to do
There are only a couple of things that would be wrong in the circumstances:

  • Failing to do anything at all. Even if you feel uncomfortable or don’t know exactly what to do, it’s better to do something rather than nothing to let the person know you care.

  • Talking business. A funeral, wake or other similar gathering is never the time or place to discuss business in any way. Always keep your comments at death-related gatherings and on similar occasions on a personal level.

    For more information about what you can do to express sympathy in the workplace in the most appropriate and effective way, go to Lydia Ramsey’s Web site at www.mannersthatsell.com.

    Copyright © 2005 by BWideas.com, Inc.

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