I Have Tried Everything…Do you ever feel as if you have tried everything to fix or resolve a situation?
Then consider this: There are currently over six billion people in the world. Add to that the billions of people who have lived before us. With all of those individuals going through lives of their own, the chances are great that someone has experienced exactly what we are experiencing and has overcome that obstacle. The trick is to find the answer.
Just think how arrogant and egotistical it would be to say and believe that we have tried everything. The truth is we may have tried everything we can think of but have certainly not tried everything. Someone out there has probably walked in our shoes and been in an identical or nearly identical situation and found the answer. Chances are great that someone out there has the exact same co-worker, boss, husband, wife, child and/or relative as we do and figured out the answer. The trick is to find the answer.
This may be hard to see when examining your own life, but think about how often you have watched friends or coworkers ignore an obvious solution, even though it is staring them in the face. They live in the world called "Nothing can help me out." No matter what you suggest, they rejects everything. They believe nothing can help them out, so they can't see the answers. In fact, a good time- saving device in life is to recognize when someone is not open to what you are saying, so you can stop wasting your time.
What is the answer? It is to take a realistic look at life and realize that with all the millions and millions of people who live and who have lived on this planet, someone out there has probably figured out the answer. When we believe there is an answer, we will more likely find it because belief drives action; actions don't drive beliefs. And therein lies the challenge; people often say: "I will believe it when I see it." The problem is they can't see it if they don't believe it. You must believe there is an answer; only then will you be more likely to find the answer. We tend to see what we believe we will. As Henry Ford once said, "If you believe you can or believe you can't, either way, you'll be right."
Just think: If there were a million dollars riding on your finding the answer, or your child's health, or your best friend's life, how likely would you be to find out the answer? What if you ran your life by the motto "failure is not an option." How determined would you be?
Tip - Whenever you don't know what to do, ask 10 people for advice. If they don't have the answer, they probably know someone who does. (Remember: Six degrees of separation).
Even if you were to conclude that a particular situation is mostly out of your control, (mostly a result of how the other person is acting), just concentrate on your part and watch what happens. Let us just say that it was 95 percent the other person and five percent you. Concentrate only on the five percent that you are responsible for. Changing that five percent can still give you the needed control to change the desired outcome.
Think about people who navigate white water rapids in a boat. With the limited control they do have, they can navigate the rapids successfully. If a train is on a journey, one switch is enough to take that train to a far different place than where it was originally headed. Let's spend 100 percent of the time on the part we can control.
Remember that whenever you think you have tried everything, it may be your mind playing tricks on you. The odds are someone out there has most likely gone through the same experience and figured out the answer. It is time to approach this as if giving up or failing are not options. It is time to focus on what you can control, ask people, go hunting, and take massive action!
"Steven Gaffney ( www.StevenGaffney.com) delivers keynote addresses, breakout sessions and intense multi-day seminars in the area of communication, motivation and leadership. Call for more information at (703) 243-7994 or 1-877-6Honest or e-mail Steven directly at Steven@StevenGaffney.com.
Copyright 2004 by Steven Gaffney