Confessions Of A Reluctant Scrooge

Much to the consternation of my loved ones, I'm kind of a scrooge. I'm not proud of it, but I do admit it. I actually have a card that certifies me to Bah! Humbug! whenever it seems appropriate.

It's not that I'm a skinflint. Quite the contrary. I've been told that I'm actually quite a generous person. And I'm only a part-time curmudgeon. In general, I'm a happy person who likes to laugh and have fun. So, what's the problem?

Well, I believe there are three reasons (the ladies who love me call them excuses) for my scrooge-ness:

1. My first 10 years in the marketplace were spent in retail. Those who have significant retail background know what "working retail" can do to your holiday spirit. Even thirty years ago the holiday stuff in stores was already in-your-face by November 1st. And before that, if you sold things that were holiday seasonal, you were contemplating, planning for, and buying that inventory in April. So, by the time retailers should be getting that good old holiday spirit, they are actually a holiday OD casualty.

There is a syndrome for virtually every other condition in the universe, why not one for retailers? How about PCTSS: Pre-Christmas Traumatic Shock Syndrome? Alas, once you have PCTSS, it's hard to get rid of it.

2. As a so-called "generous person", I don't wait until the holidays to give gifts to my friends and family. Consequently, I don't get all worked up about holiday giving. I recognize that this tendency is often seen as a "guy thing," and sadly, not an endearing trait to the ladies. Not that the ladies mind getting stuff all year round (let's not lose our heads). it's just that they want me to be giddy about giving at Christmas-time. Giddy? Humph!!

3. As a card-carrying contrarian (this is similar to, but not the same as, the scrooge card), it is anathema for me to feel obligated to do what everyone else is doing. And if there is one thing that has become part and parcel of the holiday season, it is obligation. Here are two examples:

a) If my significant other and I have a meal with another couple a few days before Christmas and they give us a little gift, when we go to their party in a few days, "Other" now feels obligated to reciprocate. I don't.

b) If after all of your Christmas cards have been sent, a card is received from someone who is not on your outgoing list, do you feel obligated to get a card out to them right away? Not me. Maybe next year.

In The World According To Blasingame, giving should be voluntary, not obligatory. If I do something nice for you, PLEASE don't feel obligated to reciprocate. Not reciprocating, to a scrooge, is endearing.

Don't Get Me Wrong
It's not that I don't like the holidays. As a Christian, Christmas is a very important time in my faith life. And as a capitalist, I understand how important holiday spending is to our economy. Many businesses fairly exist for nine months of the year and make their "gravy" during the holidays. It's just that I don't like what the holiday season has become. If that makes me a scrooge, guilty as charged.

Two Challenges
I am actually a reluctant scrooge trying hard to become a reformed scrooge. In that spirit, I would like to offer a few thoughts on how we can make some changes in all of our attitudes. I have converted my thoughts into two challenges: One for me, and one for us.

For Me:
I challenge myself to be more receptive to, and tolerant of, the silly parts of the season, and to be less of a scrooge and contrarian. But please, bear with me; the change mill of a scrooge/contrarian grinds slowly.

One thing that has happened to me continues to help me to be true to this challenge: My beautiful daughter's beautiful 2 year-old son. I used to just be obnoxious -- now I'm an obnoxious grandfather. Those who look forward to an erosion, if not the demise, of my scrooge-ness, continue to have hope in the person of someone named Jacob.

For Us:
I challenge us to be more generous, loving, thankful, and spiritual all year -- not just during the holidays. Just think of it! What would happen if...

...We told our friends and family that we love them ALL YEAR LONG? Every time we saw them?

...We were moved by a generous spirit to help those less fortunate EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR?

...We gave each other gifts WITHOUT WAITING for an obligatory date, and without obligation to reciprocate?

...We were thankful for our blessings EVERY MINUTE of our lives?

...We truly wished for, and practiced, peace on earth, goodwill toward EVERYONE, EVERY DAY?

Write this on a rock... Here's what it might sound like when we accept this challenge:

"Let's help those people RIGHT NOW, in the middle of July!"

"I know it's not Christmas or your birthday, but here is something I thought you would like."

"Thank you, God, for the MANY blessings in my life, including this heat."

"HEY! EVERYBODY!! We live on this planet together. As long as gravity works, no one's going to escape. So let's get along."

"Peace to you and yours."

"Shalom."

"Salaam. "

"Que la paz este con ustedes."

"God be with you."