3 Deadly Mistakes Managers Make With Employees

This week's e-mail advice describes three common and disastrous mistakes managers make with their staff. We included thought-provoking and easy tips for success so you can lead a healthy and productive work environment.

First, an announcement: We're excited about the addition of two new staff members who have already made a tremendous difference to my company and you!

Christina Taylor recently joined as Operations & Business Manager. Christina has an extensive background in customer service; sales & marketing; and event planning.

Juanita Pappert has joined as an Associate. She will lead human resource consulting & coaching plus training design & delivery. Juanita has 20 years' experience in this field and I've asked her to be today's guest columnist.

As a Senior Human Resources Manager, I've taught thousands of managers about management strategies. I'm honored Steve asked me to share the top three mistakes managers make with staff. Managers make mistakes and great managers learn from them.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do
It's a huge mistake to underestimate the power of our behavior. Think about managers who say, "I don't care how you do it; just get it done." Or managers who offer little to no feedback, leaving their employees wondering how they are doing. How about managers who say one thing and do another? For example, one who says, "All meetings should start on time!" Yet he is late to every meeting. Or one who states, "The client is king!" Yet she talks disparagingly about the client to the staff. Remember this: Employees watch everything you do, don't do, say and don't say. They fill in the gaps with what they really think is happening, what is supposed to be happening and what they think it all really means, i.e., the hidden agenda.

Lesson Learned: While investigating an ugly sexual harassment case, I learned an entire group of staff reacted differently to their manager. Some emulated him by cursing, yelling down hallways and venting at each other. They told me it felt invigorating. Others felt intimidated… afraid to venture outside their offices…like children being bullied in the playground. This was a poisoned and unprofessional work environment. We learned the manager lied about his group finances and some employees knew about it. They assumed because no one discussed it (and he was the manager, after all) it was acceptable. Of course he was removed as manager, but think of the lives his behavior adversely affected. Think of the expense, morale, time and productivity wasted by just one individual.

Tips for Success: Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." Be accountable to those who report to you…. and to those you report to. Think carefully before you commit or act. Keep your word. Start your meetings on time; make the phone call when you say you will; turn in the report when it is due. You really have very few opportunities to apologize for not keeping your word; then you become insincere and your credibility suffers. I tell managers, "You alone set the tone." Employees look to you for good work habits, behavior, consistency and doing the right thing. They want you to be their rock and their champion. Think of your actions this way: Don't do anything you wouldn't want splashed on the front page of the newspaper, headlined in the 5:00 news, or broadcasted to your family.

Who Needs Face Time?
All employees crave face time with their managers…unless they are given lists of tasks, scowled at or feel invisible each time they see the boss. I've spent hours coaching employees to prepare for these discussions. Employees should not be afraid of their managers. How much productivity is lost if employees feel you are unapproachable? How much talent and creativity is undiscovered because you are not out mining it? How often do we go out of our way to avoid staff? Hopefully it isn't because we don't like people, or we shouldn't be in management. It's usually because we don't have time; we are up to our eyeballs in problems and projects; and dealing with people takes time and energy. I worked with one executive who felt interacting with staff was the most energizing part of his day. Do you think people liked seeing him come down the hall? Yes!

Lessons Learned: Face time is an opportunity for discussion and feedback. It's simply a way to get to know each other. It can be a formal meeting; a brief office visit; in the hallway or at the coffee machine. The point is to be accessible, approachable and to make time. Build face time into your schedule on a daily basis or you will appear rushed and busy. Be aware of your verbal and non-verbal language during the face time. Being with you should be very meaningful to your staff. Outside of their personal lives, you may be the most powerful and influential person they interact with.

Tips For Success: Spend face time with every employee. Ask about their projects and what is important to them. Make good eye contact and say, "hello" with a smile on your face. Praise in public and criticize in private. One manager I worked with had a monthly breakfast meeting (and he brought in the doughnuts) where he discussed the group's achievements plus individual accomplishments; new contracts; business issues; and a Q&A session. The meetings were always full. Try taking a different path to your office each day and stop at various offices just to say, "How are you?" You may be surprised at how pleased your staff is to see you.

Prove Yourself Right
We all feel the need to be right…including our employees. As Steve Gaffney teaches, we are wrong at least 50% of the time. We spend a lot of time finding facts to prove we are right. For example, we spend time justifying why our business goals are important, why we acted a certain way, or why we made a particular decision. Have you ever been justifying these things in your mind when someone is talking to you? How effective were your listening skills then? Do you find yourself mumbling, stumbling or giving lists of reasons when delivering bad news to people? Ask yourself what your real purpose is when you listen, justify or deliver a message.

Lesson Learned: As managers we have to justify our decisions. It's crucial to make decisions, be crystal clear about why, and differentiate between justifying the good, the bad and the ugly. Providing too many reasons appears as though you are trying to build a case to prove yourself right. Providing too few makes people doubt you. The key issues are knowing we are doing this instead of being in "intake" mode; or finding ourselves proselytizing instead of giving a clear, concise reason for the decision - particularly if it is an unpopular decision. If you are doing these things, you are not really listening nor are you paying attention to the real (or potential) issues. This builds resentment and causes others to stop talking about what is important to them, the team, or worse - to you. They won't make the effort to communicate when they figure out you are out to prove yourself right.

Tips for Success: If you are wrong, say so. If you are not sure, say so. In this case, try switching roles with your staff. Challenge your staff to give you the "pros and cons." You may be surprised at their objectivity and input about a business problem. One creative manager gave her staff permission to make the "zip the lip" gesture when they felt she was proselytizing or proving herself right. This simple gesture gives instantaneous feedback, breaks the tension, and reopens two way communications.

James A. Autry said, "One key to being a successful leader is self-awareness." If you would like additional human resource consultation or coaching, please feel free to call our office. We love our work and we love to share it.

"Steven Gaffney is an professional speaker and author in the area of communication, motivation and leadership. He can be reached at (703) 243-7994 or 1-877-6Honest or e-mail Steven directly at Steven@StevenGaffney.com."

Copyright 2004 by Steven Gaffney and the Steven Gaffney Company.